An Open Letter To The Citizens Of Coronado - Coronado Eagle & Journal | Coronado News | Coronado Island News: Opinion

An Open Letter To The Citizens Of Coronado

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Posted: Friday, October 11, 2019 2:26 pm

Dear Coronado,

I have been visiting your fair city in the summer almost every year since about 1977 when I was in elementary school. I live in Arizona and descend upon you, taking your parking places, crowding your restaurants, and offending your eyes with cut-offs and large domestic pick-up trucks. Despite my people’s vulgarity and crassness, you have been polite, gracious, and kind to me and my fellow Zonies for over 40 years now. Oh I know you talk about us when we aren’t around. My aunt, who has lived in Coronado for over 50 years, tells me about how you beautiful people snicker about us behind our backs but you are always dignified enough never to openly mock us.

My fondest memories of childhood are going to the beach and poking around the rocks near the Del, watching the SEAL team drills during the 4th of July activities, and learning to love seafood at the Brig. I bring my children now and send them to the Surf Academy, take them to Moo Time, and teach them to enjoy oysters at the Brig. I miss the old-school vibe it had had before the modern makeover but nothing lasts forever.

In sum, I wish you all my warmest regards and thank you on behalf of all of my redneck brothers and sisters from your bumpkin cousin state. You welcome us every year with open arms and hearts and make the week or two we get to stay with you the height of an otherwise miserable summer. You never complain to us, always seem happy to see us, and when we leave we always wish we could hit the Powerball so we could buy a 1200 square foot home for 4 million dollars, 5 blocks from the beach.

See you next year, God willing.

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